The Monkey King!!!

So here’s the breakdown of my kids classes. At the moment I have five children’s classes and one “2 on 1” (my writing class). Most classes meet twice a week, some for one hour, some for two hours each. The Writing Class is one and a half hours on Saturday. I should be getting a couple adult classes soon (at least one this week). Hopefully, because I need more hours!!

Y1—the littl’uns who like to chew on me. I see them one hour at a time twice a week. It’s getting better…the Children’s Director surprised me today with a spontaneous observation of my class. I think my assistant Chinese teacher may have requested it in order to get her advice on what to do with Mia, who, despite punishment, is still a nutjob. Tomorrow, she’s going to go over with me how the class went today…eep! I like the kids though, they’re crazy and tiring as heck, but they’re fun and cute. It’s a challenge, but when things go right, it’s a glorious feeling. For instance, we only use their book for about five minutes towards the end of class. You’re supposed to explain what they are supposed to do with the book before they take their books out, otherwise they become distracted. But whenever I hold up my own book to explain the directions, they all start running to their bookbags to get their books out. So today I photocopied the page we were to work on and held that up and explained the directions. THEN I asked them to get their books. It actually worked! They paid attention to the directions and didn’t realize the photocopy was of a page from the book, which I was afraid they would and then go get their books too early. I was super excited. It’s weird how little things like that make you feel so accomplished. “Ha! I tricked little kids successfully! I’m an awesome teacher!” It made the fact that someone was observing me slightly less painful.

M4—my seven-ish year olds. Some are older but that’s probably the most common age (the “mode”? I don’t know, I forgot my fourth grade math). Normally I would see them for a two hour class session once a week and the Chinese teacher would see them for two hours the other day of the week they come in, but because of my Y class’s schedule, I do the first hour for both days and the Chinese teacher does the 2nd. At this level of an M class, the Chinese teacher does all the grading. As a result, I feel a little detached from this class. I am also usually worrying about my Y class, which is directly afterward, so that deepens my sense of detachment from my M’s. I still don’t have all the girls’ names straight, which I feel bad about. But they are a good class, they’re ridiculously cute and they love games. We do a lot of board races, and I feel bad, so I try to come in with new games in mind. But no other game we’ve played work quite like a board race. Whenever I draw a line on the board, they know a board race is coming and they all go “yayyyyy!” A board race: draw a line down the middle of the board and divide the class into two teams. Number each student. Have a sentence that they need to write in mind. For instance, I hold up a flashcard of lollipops and ask, “What do you like, number 3?” Then the two number 3’s run to the board and write, “I like lollipops.” The first to do it correctly and say the sentence gets the point for the team. Kids love it. They could do it forever.

K11—this class is my biggest (18). I know that’s a really small class by American standards, but it’s slightly big by my school’s standards, and it’s about ten kids too many by MY standards. You get paid extra if you have over twenty kids. I see them Thursdays for two hours. They are older, probably 10-13 on average, although I know I have at least one 9-year-old in there. As a result, a lot of them are sick of games and don’t want to do anything. It’s also a bigger room, so there is a distance between me and the students that you can feel more strongly than in other classrooms. Thus, they talk more amongst themselves, and I have had to install a “3 strikes, you’re out” punishment system whereby you get an X every time I hear you speak out of turn, speak Chinese, or swear, and after three X’s you get to write five sentences for me. However, they are more responsive than my other K class, and I have found that they like some games. And they are good kids overall.

K12—for some reason I look forward to this class every week, but every week when I’m in there I want to strangle them. I come in with what I think are interesting games and the students are (largely) unresponsive. There are a couple kids in there motivated by junk cards or the spirit of competition, but most of them just sulk. I’m animated, I dance around, I embarrass myself, I get them up out of their seats, etc., but nothing seems to work. So I will just keep trying new things until I know what motivates them. I think I may ask THEM what games they like, if any. I don’t want to torture them, but they act like I do. They also don’t listen, which drives me nuts. I have to announce the page number we’re supposed to turn to, like 10 times at least. Gah! But my Teachers Pet is in there, and he’s a doll.

A11—my big kids. Probably 14-15 year olds. There’s only nine of them and I like them because they understand me the most, so we can joke around. They’re a class full of wise-asses, that’s for sure, but I don’t really care. Their class meets every Friday for two hours with me, then one hour immediately following with the Chinese teacher. I don’t know how I feel about the lesson plans for this class...I can’t really identify what the goals of some of the activities are…but I think the class is mostly to gain fluency. The students know a lot of English vocabulary and their writing and listening skills are quite strong, but their speaking needs work. They also switch tenses too much. I’m learning a lot of English in this class too, such as what auxiliary verbs and the past and present continuous tenses are. The basic English grammar book in our library has become my new best friend.

I voted today! At least in my mind I did. I never received my absentee ballot after registering for one. The directions online said to fill out a write-in ballot in that situation and mail it out today, so I did. I don’t know if it will count, because I’m not sure I did it right and I’m concerned about why I never received a ballot in the first place, but at least it feels like I voted. Besides, who the heck knows if our votes are even counted at the actual polling places (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aBaX9GPSaQ).

In celebration of Halloween, our school asked teachers to dress up last Wednesday-Friday for our children’s classes. Different grades had different activities planned for the last week-and-a-half in preparation for the celebration. Some classes colored Halloween pictures, others wrote ghost stories. Apparently Halloween has been around here for a few years (as it has in Hong Kong). I don’t think kids go trick-or-treating throughout their communities but they dress up at English school and some classes went trick-or-treating at some local businesses. Our school handed out Dum-Dums in every class and students were encouraged to dress up.

I didn’t want to spend much money on a costume, and I don’t have much here to work with, so my first idea was to go as static cling. Just pin a bunch of stuff to myself and make my hair crazy. But then I remembered that few people here own dryers and it’s humid as heck, so they probably have never experienced static cling. Then I thought I’d go as a librarian, because that’s what my clothing most resembled. I figured I’d put on a nametag, dress up all frumpy, put my hair in a bun, and wear my glasses. It’s a sad day when you look in your closet and realize how easily you can make yourself look like a librarian (no offense Mom). But I wasn’t sure if the kids would get it, and for some reason I cared, so I went out looking for ideas. Most stores carry a few things here and there, mostly weird masks and fairy wings, but there’s certainly no “Halloween stores” like at home. I found ladybug wings and antennas, so I went as a ladybug. It’s probably the girliest thing I’ve ever been for Halloween. I prefer the evil stuff, a good old fashioned witch costume. And I definitely had to wear a lot of eyeliner, because that’s my favorite part of dressing up. My thought was that bugs have weird eyes, so I should wear a lot of eye liner. However, when I got to work, the Adult Director asked if I was a “goth ladybug.” Mike said I was going to scare the children, but I had several students tell me I looked “cute.” It’s strange when an 8-year-old tells you that you look cute. I had a few students dress up in my M class. They were thrilled that I was dressed up, they were pretty into it. My Y class liked to pull on my wings and rub their faces on the glitter. My K11 was ambivalent and my A’s wanted to know why I didn’t look scary. They thought I was super lame. They hated the Dum-Dum’s too, they said they were “disgusting.” What party-poopers!

Another teacher went as a spider, it was a pretty awesome outfit. She was all in black and had a bunch of legs that were connected to her actual arms so when she moved them all her legs moved. The kids loved it. She also is a face-painter, so she painted a cool web on her face. Another girl went as Pippi Longstocking, which was also awesome and the kids loved her hair. Another guy went as a Secret Service Agent (complete with earpiece) and Mike (reluctantly…he’s a Halloween hater) went as a bank robber (although, in my opinion, he looks not unlike a terrorist in this picture). Another teacher was a pirate. It was pretty awesome because it was homemade. She made little origami parrots and pinned them to her shoulder, a different color bird every day, and she had a homemade sword. The kids’ costumes were the usual, Batman, Superman, witches, wizards, fairies, princesses. For each class, the manager, kids director, and a secretary would barge into the class in costumes on and hand out candy. The kids were supposed to sing a chant I taught them (“Trick or Treat, smell my feet…”) but they were usually so freaked out that they didn’t speak. Then they took pictures of each student dressed up and then the whole class…except my A’s, who were apparently too cool get their picture taken. I’ll never forget the looks on my Y’s faces when this happened, as they’re so young and new to the school. Their looks of confusion and shock were priceless. It was a little difficult to instill order and discipline in the classroom dressed as a ladybug. None of the students could take me very seriously, so I basically gave up and was pretty lenient the two days I dressed up. But, overall, I’d say Halloween was a success.

It seems like every weekend there’s a new festival in Taichung, and this week it’s the International Documentary Film Festival! We weren’t sure if movies had English subtitles or not, so we showed up at one on Saturday and, what do you know, it was in Japanese with English and Chinese subtitles. Hooray! It was called Yasakuni Shrine and was about the controversial Yasakuni Shrine in Tokyo, something I knew absolutely nothing about prior to this film (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yasakuni_shrine). I didn’t even really want to see it, but it was very interesting! It reminded me of being at Beloit again, where they would have random films or speakers come in and I would learn about something that, for whatever reason, I knew nothing about. Mike had heard of this shrine because every year he reads in the paper how upset people are that the Japanese Prime Minister is visiting the Shrine. Apparently this place enshrines the remains (and souls) of those who have died in war for Japan. This includes people from Taiwan, Okinawa, Korea, and China…many of whom were forced to be in the Japanese military in the first place. A lot of these people’s families want their family member’s names removed from the Shrine and un-enshrined, so to speak. They want their remains and souls returned to their native country. The Shinto leaders of the Shrine say this is impossible, because you can’t un-enshrine someone. In many of these cultures, the whereabouts of your remains and soul are exceedingly important, because it determines what your afterlife is like, so this is no light matter. There are also twelve convicted war criminals enshrined there, so a lot of people get upset that the Prime Minister of Japan annually prays and worships at the Shrine. Since a lot of the enshrined are victims of World War II, a lot of these other Asian countries feel that the Shrine glorifies Japan’s “War of Aggression” on the rest of Asia (yeah, ANOTHER thing you never hear about in school—how Japan terrorized the rest of Asia during WW2). On the other hand, many people feel it is a symbol and reminder of the cost of war.



I didn’t realize such a place existed and that it was so controversial. The movie had footage of different skirmishes and events. One was a crazy American dude who stood there holding a sign that he supported the Prime Minister’s decision to pray there (complete with a big American flag...only an American would fly to Japan to exercise his right to voice his opinion on something like this…I’m not sure if I admire him or think he’s a douchebag). Another was of some Chinese and Taiwanese protesters pointing out the enshrined war criminals and requesting their ancestors’ souls back. Another was of a couple teenage Japanese protestors getting beaten up for chanting about the Chinese people the Japanese killed. Intermittently, they also had footage and interviews with the last remaining sword-maker from this place (apparently they also made swords there). He’s 90-something and senile, and he still makes swords from scratch. They’re gorgeous and it’s beautiful to watch, but it’s sad to also see what they were used for (two of the war criminals enshrined there had a beheading contest…they each beheaded over 100 Chinese people). Anyway, it was really interesting and we plan to see a lot more movies this week. It’s only a dollar! One US dollar, isn’t that awesome?

On Tuesday a bunch of us teachers went out for our weekly drinks. We went to the usual German-themed bar, then to a karaoke bar with ridiculously awesome chicken wings, then a few of us went to this place called Party Animal. This bar is ridiculous. The walls are painted with flags from all over the world and each flag has a pair of animals doing really explicit, inappropriate things to one another. All with ridiculous looks on their faces. But the awesome part (some of you may find the previous part awesome…I just can’t look at donkeys the same again), is the cover band. This band of Chinese musicians plays mostly English cover songs, whether they know the words (or how to pronounce them) or not, and most of the songs are from the 90’s. They were really fun and really awesome. We heard Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” Mariah Carey’s “Hero,” the Spin Doctors’ “Two Princes,” all kinds of stuff. They take requests too. I think that’s how we heard Nirvana. Anyway, it was different from normal bars, and it was a fun atmosphere. Yay for Party Animal.

This past weekend we went to Sun Moon Lake, a couple hours by bus outside of Taichung. It’s supposed to be one of the most beautiful places in Taiwan, and it was before the smog hit. First we went to the bus/train station to catch the bus. It’s a popular tourist site, so how hard could it be to find the bus? Ha. The first guy told us to walk six blocks and the bus was down there. The next person told us to walk three blocks the same direction. Why the bus was not at the bus station, I still don’t know. So we decided to walk that direction…there must be SOMETHING down there. So we walked a ways and saw some buses lined up. None of them were the bus company we suspected, so we were about to turn around when we saw one bus that said “Sun Moon Lake” on the front. Then we wondered how to get tickets. At the same time, a guy walked up to us and started explaining something to us in Chinese. “Tickets?” I asked, but he just kept talking and saying something about $220. It took us a couple minutes to realize he was a taxi driver and was saying he’d drive us to Sun Moon Lake for $220. No thanks, we said, and walked two feet before another dude came by, chastised the taxi driver, and led us to a little stand where some other dudes were standing. They sold us tickets to Sun Moon Lake and we got on the bus. It’s really weird how these things happen. I’m pretty much always in a state of confusion, I guess I have to accept it. I got to see some stuff, some little towns, on the way there, but since public transportation is like Nyquil to me, I fell asleep for most of the way.

When we arrived we walked along the lake and took pictures. The smog hadn’t arrived yet and it was relatively clear and pretty.
Then we ate some lunch, which was pretty similar to the food in Hong Kong and was tasty. Then we bought a ticket for the Round-the-Lake Bus and went to Syuenzang Temple. It was very peaceful, but by then the smog had come in and the view was less than ideal. We hiked over to Tsen Pagoda, which was not as far as I gave Mike grief about (which I’m sure he’ll mention in his blog). It’s pretty cool lookin and you can climb to the top (Mike was scared). Then we hiked through some woods (saw a couple monks on the way, so we knew we were on the right track) to the Syuenguang Temple.

Supposedly it holds the remains of the monk immortalized in the novel Journey to the West. I was pretty excited about that because we watched the TV version of that novel in one of my classes at Beloit (The Monkey King!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrzTxGZrV0Q). This one was less peaceful—it was kind of busy—but it had free literature about Buddhism and meditation, so I grabbed a couple books. On the way down were some Falun Gong meditators who handed out pamphlets about the practice (well, not the people meditating…that would be counter-productive). We got back on the bus (by the way—scary bus ride!!!) and went to Wenwu Temple, a ridiculously gaudy, outrageous temple. There were lots of people, some of whom brought their dogs. There were massage chairs, a mime, and four gift shops. It was really weird. It was a temple on crack, frankly.
Then we headed back because the bus was to take us home soon. We spent the last hour or so resting by the shore at a café. There was lots more we could have done there, and I suspect we’ll go there again. Maybe after a rainy day, so it is not so smoggy. The air pollution here is terrible!!!! (below, one picture is pre-smog, the other post-smog)



You can take boats around the lake, go on more hikes, go biking, and there is an aboriginal village there and another one ten or fifteen minutes away. It’s also a nice place to just sit around and relax. We saw a few families just hanging out and having a picnic.


Apparently that restaurant I’m obsessed with (the one I constructed that Michealango-esque drawing for in a previous blog) is Teppanyaki. Supposedly there are many such restaurants in the U.S., although I’ve never been to one. BUT, I hear they are pretty much only popular in the US and Taiwan, not even in Japan, so I still feel like it’s somewhat authentic. We go there probably two times a week, but I could eat there every day. I’m obsessed with the sprouts in particular. Their other vegetables and meat are nice, but the sprouts are where it’s at. Mike thinks it’s because there’s more MSG in the sprouts. If so, then I’m an MSG supporter. I don’t feel anything after a cup of coffee, but I sure feel a lot happier after eating these sprouts. Also, I was kidding when I labeled the cook as “friendly” in my picture. The cooks are very much not. I’ve only seen one smile once, and that’s because two girls were flirting with him. I don’t blame them—I see the same guys there all the time, so I don’t think they ever get a day off. I don’t mind if they’re cranky, they are still fun to watch and the sprouts are delicious, even if they are made unenthusiastically. They’re probably creeped out that I’m stalking them, however (the cooks, not the sprouts).

Weird Things:

11: These signs in the bathroom stalls at Sun Moon Lake:


Nice to think about when you're going to the bathroom. REMEMBER, THIS MAY BE THE LAST TIME YOU EVER PEE!