Here a squeak, there a squeak, everywhere a squeak squeak...

So the ladies at the turkey rice stand asked me what “country people” I am. I told them I was Meiguoren (American), and they didn’t believe me. They kept pointing to the top of my nose and trying to communicate something about the fact that I couldn’t possibly be American. I don’t know what country they thought I was from, I couldn’t make it out and it didn’t sound familiar. I’m not sure what Americans look like, but apparently I don’t fit the mold. At least my giant nose doesn’t. I don’t know…there are big noses on both the Italian and the American sides of my family, so anyone could be to blame. Unless they were referring to my scent…maybe I don’t smell and that’s why I’m not American. Or worse, maybe I do smell and that’s why I’m not American! They must have thought I was some sort of European. Is that flattering? I guess it depends what type of European…

Sorry, that was a jab at my European reader (Sorry, Alex). ;)

Maybe it’s just MY Dad, but to this day he still complains about the annoying toys my sisters and I had as kids, most notably the ones that made lots of noise. I think he had a particular hatred for little ol’ Teddy Ruxpin, which, we all know, is the coolest/creepiest 80’s toy ever. But I’m pretty sure that all parents resent their children a bit for their obnoxious, noisy toys, not just my Dad, right?

This is why I don’t understand what I’ve seen here in Taiwan. Namely, toddlers' shoes that squeak when they walk. I’ve never seen this type of shoe before, but all over the place in Taichung, I see little two-year-olds running/waddling around, with a squeak-squeak here and a squeak-squeak there. It’s the same sound that dog toys make. If I were a parent, I’d kill myself if my kid squeaked wherever it went. The parents here must harbor a level of patience that I will never achieve. Or they just have really evil mother-in-laws who give these shoes as gifts…I don’t know!

So I made fruit salad with a bunch of five-year-olds. It was an amusing experience for many reasons. For one, I was faced with the task of dissecting a papaya. I had no idea how to cut up a papaya. I didn’t even know it was a papaya until the Chinese teacher referred to it as such. Do you peel a papaya first? What’s the best way to cut it up? So she did it (with the kids help). I’m such a noob. I stuck with kiwi and wax apples.

So the kids all cut up the fruit with us, with these little plastic choppy things that were intended to resemble knives. And of course, being five (and therefore inherently destructive), they smashed up the fruit as best they could until it was mush (seriously, if we want to win a war, send in five-year-olds, they’re more destructive than any adult could ever be). And of course, being five, they’re gross. So they sneeze (into their hands, surprisingly), then pick up the fruit and throw it in the bowl. I told them to wash their hands as well as the fruit before we started cutting, but I suspect they were excited to wash the fruit and neglected their hands. Once all the fruit was cut, each kid got a chance to stir, and by the end, that fruit salad had transformed from a bowl of lush, bright possibility to a bowl of tired, degraded brown mush (strange--children have the same effect on fruit salad as they do on their parents…). (Picture: Five-year-olds in a rare moment of non-destruction.)

You couldn’t pay me enough to eat that fruit salad.

I love fruit. I love salad. Heck, I love five-year-olds. But there’s no way I am going to consume the result of that love triangle.

At what point do you realize how gross you are? I wish I lived in the germ-infested bliss that is being five. Then I could eat fruit salad that is equal parts fruit and bacteria contentedly.

I’ve also started wondering about the way kids speak Chinese. In America, kids sound weird. They have their own accent. Their “r”’s are loose and undefined, sometimes they even become “w”’s. They say things like, “wed” instead of “red” and “pawrty” instead of “party.” Do kids speaking Chinese do this too? Are there certain sounds that develop more slowly than others? Do they have their own accent? I’d like to know these things.

So it rained for like 3 days straight. Sometimes it would stop and a ray of sun would sneak out, but it was all part the sky’s plan to trick you into driving your scooter to work, and then it would rain for the rest of the day. I haven’t invested in any kind of rain gear here, and I didn’t bring any either. In fact, I don’t think I’ve had a raincoat since I was a child. Heck, I didn’t have a fall or spring jacket for like three years of college. But anyway, I drove home from work on the scooter in my Columbia jacket and jeans in the rain. It wasn’t so bad, and luckily I was just going home to veg for a couple hours, so the fact that I was completely soaked wasn’t a big deal. I finally bought a poncho from 7-11 (they had sold out for a long time), but I’m going to invest in some rain pants and a coat after my paycheck this week. It’s going to rain more and more now, and while I would prefer not to drive the scooter in the rain, the fact is I will, so I need some gear. Ponchos are OK, but they tear really easily, so I might as well get some cool rain gear like a real Taiwanese scooter-driver.

We went to a traditional tea shop with a couple of our friends this weekend. They are tea people. They know about tea. And they like to go when it’s rainy, so we hung out in the tea house and drank tea for four or five hours. There’s a nice pond with fish and lush walkways to the different areas. You can get a nice table or you can get a little “tatami” (sp?) room, which is what we did. You sit on the floor on a mat and hang out and drink tea. You can get food too, and the three of them ordered some lunch. They brought their own tea, and we tried five different kinds. Most of them were a kind of oolong tea, which I normally don’t like, but these were all great. Apparently I’ve only had cheap oolong tea. It was great! I could hang out and drink tea all day when it’s raining. Before leaving, we fed the fish and explored the rest of the place. Then we parted ways. Mike and our friends felt super buzzed from all the caffeine, but since caffeine has no effect on me, I went home and almost immediately went to bed. Unfortunately I’ve had a bad cough and I felt awful and needed to sleep.

Many posts ago, I mentioned how I am trying to do one new thing every day. So far, I’ve been super good about doing it. I think I’ve only missed one day in what has been about a month since I started. Most of the time, I try something new to eat, and oftentimes, it’s a new kind of juice from the juice stand down the street. They’re super friendly there, the guy is awesome. They have English and Japanese menus too. I talked about the time I got a Chinese yam and pineapple smoothie. I’ve also tried pineapple and star fruit (good) and something with mulberries. I realized I know nothing about mulberries, except that weasels pop near them. So I tried a mulberry and something (maybe apple) smoothie, and it was great! The weird thing about the juice stand is they always have you try the juice first, because they make too much juice. So then they stand there and make you chug a bunch of juice so they can put the rest in the cup. While it’s cool that I get extra juice, I always get brain freeze!

Anyway, sometimes I count a new class as doing something new, sometimes it’s actually going someplace new (like the tea house), but most of the time it’s food. I’m glad I’m making myself do it, because it’s a nice way to feel like I’m making the most of my time here.