Puppet shows, Crashing into Parked Scooters, and Mafia

A Puppet Show (sadly no Cookie Monster)
So the temple behind our apartment occasionally has a puppet show set up. The other day must have been an important day on the lunar calendar, because everyone was at the temple, it was crazy. And if they weren't at the temple, they were burning paper money. And not only was it a zoo, but the puppet show was up and running. A young woman was performing with a bunch of puppets of gods. Most of the dialogue is on a CD, with music and stuff, but sometimes she would talk into a microphone. No one was really paying attention to it, except for me and a father and his son. Again I am reminded that my intelligence (and competence, but more on that later) is on the same level as a child's, if not lower. No offense to kids. But anyway, it's still up, but lately they've been showing movies on a projector against the stage. I'd like to see more of the puppet show (Pictures: the only other people watching the show and a dude squatting on a stool. Dude, you have a seat, what are you doing squatting?! The urge to squat is so strong...).


Forget Neutrogena, just leave the country!
I can’t figure this out. Unlike most of my peers, my skin has not cleared up upon reaching my 20’s, but when I’m abroad, my skin clears up quite nicely. And it doesn’t matter where: Hong Kong, Taiwan, Europe. There must be something in the air in America that gives me acne. The water? The food? Maybe it’s all the freedom and liberty.

Shhh...
So I’ve been subbing a lot lately. I probably shouldn’t talk about that, because it’s illegal, but everything having to do with foreigners here is illegal. At first I hated subbing. I like to really think about my lesson plans and prepare a lot beforehand. When I subbed I felt like I was on Top Chef: Ok! You have ten minutes to come up with two hours of material with an unfamiliar book for a class you’ve never seen before! Ready? Go! But I realized I was being too hard on myself and now I don’t mind subbing. And it’s nice to be handed cash after two or three hours of work, especially when it’s so desperately needed. And this particular school at which I sub is great, and the kids are really cooperative. So I don’t mind it so much anymore, and it’s helping us get by a bit.

So I almost got some extra work in the mornings. I was so close! My friend got a job at an Episcopalian school last month, and a week later got offered a job at another really great school she was planning on applying to in this summer. The school suddenly had an opening now, so she had to take it. She felt really awful for leaving this Episcopalian school so soon and she said she’d feel a little better about it if she could recommend me as her replacement.

So the school was PISSED, but for some reason they interviewed me anyway. They were super hesitant and suspicious of me, and I tried to explain to them that if I got a job there, I would stop looking for work, because I want to complete my contract at my current school and use this new school as something to do in the morning and supplement my income so I can stay in Taiwan. One dude seemed to like me, and they had me sub last Thursday and Friday.

It went fine (Thursday was a fieldtrip to Tung Hai University, we got to see cows!), but I got weird vibes from that school. I think the Chinese teacher in the classroom and the kids liked me, but I felt like the principal and her assistant hated me. So last week they told me they’d think about it, which I think means they aren’t interested. I don’t know if it’s because I’m friends with the teacher who left them suddenly or what. I’m humble enough to entertain the idea that it’s because I’m not a good teacher, but the school at which I sub (which is a much better school) LOVES me, so I don’t think that’s it. I was starting to wonder if they could smell the original sin still on me. What probably happened is they had a good teacher who WASN’T this former teacher’s friend, so why would they pick me over them? I’m ticked because it would have solved my problems, but at the same time, I’m not sure it would have been enjoyable, with all their (understandable) distrust. So oh well.

I suck at life
So I drove the scooter to a grocery store the other day and parked in a row of scooters out front. I made my purchases and got on the scooter to leave. I turned the scooter toward the street and got ready to leave when it suddenly lurched forward. Then it kept going, and BOOM BOOM BOOM, crashed into the other scooters in the line. One scooter fell with a thunk and another one was about to fall when I finally stopped the scooter. I was really afraid of a domino effect, but luckily that didn’t happen. My scooter was what was keeping the second scooter from falling over, so I was trying to back up my scooter without the other one falling when I woman came over to help me. She helped me put the scooters back up. I thought maybe one of the scooters was hers, and I kept saying, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I don’t know what happened!” But I think she was just a nice bystander and she said my problem was I was too nervous.

Nervous? Ha! The last thing I am on the scooter now is nervous. I’ve grown to accept the chaos and I’m so relaxed, all I need is a robe and a bald head and I’m a monk. But if being nervous is considered a bad thing, then that explains A LOT. It explains people’s laidback-ness when it comes to scooter driving. I think everyone could use a little nervousness.

But anyway, we put the scooters back and I got ready to leave. She told me to be careful. A few seconds later, she came back, and said, “Do you want to make friends?” I said sure. She started asking me questions: Are you a teacher? How long have you been in Taiwan? Do you like Taiwan? Apparently she used to be a teacher and asked for my phone number if she has any questions about teaching. I gave her my number, she was super nice. If she calls me, maybe I can set up a language exchange with her so I can learn more Mandarin.

One thing I’ve learned here is to accept that it’s not weird when people approach you on the street. Foreigners (being a minority, and knowing you speak the same language) are, in general, super friendly to each other, and Taiwanese people not infrequently approach foreigners, looking for English help or language exchanges or just asking questions. I think a handful of people find jobs by being approached on the street by someone as well. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like in America you’re supposed to think it’s weird when strangers talk to you, and you’re not really supposed to perpetuate communication. But here it’s normal, and I’ve learned to stop being so suspicious and cold and start conversing back.

So then I drove the scooter home. I'm not sure what happened, but I guess I put some pressure on the accelerator without realizing it, and I wasn't holding the brakes, so I went flying forward. I didn’t even think to check if the other scooters were undamaged, but I feel like scooters are pretty resilient when they fall over. I was a bit mortified when I knocked it over. I feel like in the States, one of the worst things you can do is touch another person’s vehicle with yours, let alone knock it over. But here, while it’d probably be a big deal that I knocked the scooter over, it doesn’t seem like the biggest deal if you touch or tap another person’s vehicle. The scooters are all crammed together on the sidewalks, of course, they’re going to bump and scrape into each other. Plus, like I always say to myself here, I’m white. So of course I’m an idiot.

And I'm an idiot
That brings me to something else I’ve learned: to accept embarrassment. As a foreigner, your embarrassment will be constant and unyielding. You will not understand what’s going on. You will do something wrong. You will crash into other people’s scooters. You must grow to accept it, and thank God that at least it’s OBVIOUS you’re a foreigner, so people can forgive you. You must accept the fact that you’re an idiot and embrace it. And frankly, I love it. It’s an excuse for all my mistakes. I can’t get away with being an idiot at home. I grew up in that culture, so there’s no excuse. Here I can be an idiot all day long and it’s OK. In a way, it’s quite refreshing.

I don't get mad...
I don’t know if any of my high school friends still read this blog, but guess what game we played for the entire second hour of my K12 last Thursday???? MAFIA. It was the last day of class, so it was all review games. For the first hour we did solid review games, and then for the second hour, I said, “Screw it. We’re playing Mafia.” Not in those words, I try to use proper language in front of my students. I changed it to “Killers” since they didn’t know what a mafia was. I tried to explain it to no avail. Sadly, I had no Simpsons cards with which to play, so we used a regular deck of cards (Picture of Fat Tony: "I don't get mad. I get stabby").

So, for those who don’t know, this is how Mafia works: Each player gets a card. I don’t remember which are which, but I had King = killer, Queen = doctor, Jack = police officer. The rest of the cards make you a townsperson. I had four killers, one doctor, and one police office. I monitor the game, so only I know everything that happens. Everyone goes to sleep. Then the killers wake up and point to someone they want to kill. They go to sleep. Then the doctor wakes up and points to someone they want to save, in case the killers tried to kill them. Then they go to sleep. Then the police officer wakes up and points to someone they think is a killer. I nod yes or no. They go to sleep. Everyone wakes up. I announce whether someone was killed or almost killed and saved. Then they get three accusations. The person being accused must defend themselves. Then the town votes whether to kill/throw that person in jail. This continues until the killers kill the entire town or the town gets rid of all the killers.

So we played that for the entire second hour. It was great. They used English and had fun. They weren’t very good at defending themselves, and they cheated a lot, but it was still enjoyable.

The reason I was so laid-back for the second hour was because for the FIRST hour I had parents in the room watching me teach. For whatever cracked-out reason, the director invited all 16 kids’ parents to sit in the classroom while I taught on the last day. The thing about the last day is it’s a solid week after the final, so the kids couldn’t care less. Plus, I’ve NEVER heard of parents sitting in on a class. None of the teachers I talked to had, and I’m still not sure what the reason for it was. But luckily, only like 8 mothers were there, and the games/activities I had planned were pretty good. I think I came off pretty amusing, and the parents seemed happy as they left. The kids were pretty cooperative too, my only problem was with their speaking Chinese to one another. The director gave me a thumbs up afterwards, so that must be good, right?

So that’s why we played Mafia. I was like, come on kids, let’s have fun. I’m glad, because I don’t think I’m going to continue with that class as they move to A1, and I’ll miss them, they were fun. And I think they liked me too. Some of the girls came up to me after class and asked if I was going to be their teacher next term. I said I didn’t know, and they cried out in fear. And during the oral test (when they weren’t the student with me in the oral test room), the first activity they had to do was write me a 50-word letter. One student wrote about a car accident he recently saw, another student wrote about a dream he had, one girl wrote to me about her trip to Singapore, one kid wrote about killing people (I’m 90% sure he’s a wise-guy, not a closet murderer), but most of the letters were thank you letters. They thanked me for being their teacher and said nice things. One student asked me how many boyfriends I had, another asked if I want to get married in Taiwan or America. My favorites are: “What do you lik to do? I like to watch TV and I like you.” That is closely followed by “You are a very very nice teacher and a good human.” Crazy kids. Maybe they were trying to influence their oral test grades, but I like to think it’s because they like me! :)

Finally, best Y2 moment of the month:

Teacher: Do you have a…(waiting for student to respond with an animal, like “cow”)
Vincent: …girlfriend?

Silly five-year-old. How does he know that phrase?!